"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish." -Dr Seuss

So sometimes I like to just come to my blogsite and feed my fish. They're just so cute, swimming around in that little rectangle of theirs. And they just seems so hungry that I want to just sit here and feed them! It makes me think of a pond in some sort of Japanese garden somewhere, which, I suppose, is the idea.  Feed my fish. It's fun! (Click the mouse inside the rectangle. Watch what happens!)

Alone, but not lonely

Here's the trail, where the sun shows. Where it goes, nobody knows.... except the guy that was hiking in front of me.

Here are some trees, some shrubs too. The dirt is brown the sky is blue.... with a few clouds here and there

This poem dumb, I'm not going to lie. But there was a big space here, so I felt the need to fill it with something.  :)

 

I went on a hike by myself today. It was beautiful weather, and I can't resist hanging out outside when that happens. The trail is just up the road from Brian's house, and I love a good adventure, so I decided to check it out.

This is a pond...filled with Water Lilies

It...was...a little steeper than I would have liked in some areas, but the good thing about hiking alone is that you can huff and puff and gasp for air all you want, and no one finds out you're really a sissy on the trail!

It was a good little trip. I didn't even hike the whole trail. After about an hour I turned around and came back down. In another 3 weeks or so, it'll be even more beautiful cause the leaves will all have changed. I wish I was going to still be out east for that one. I LOVE fall!!

"He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything." Samuel Johnson

A few months ago I went to this seminar that literally changed my life. The basic jist of it was that as human beings, we experience things in life that create these beliefs that we believe about ourselves. Much of the time, these beliefs are holding us back and weighing us down because we think they are truth. (I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not lovable. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't fit in.) How sad it is that people actually believe that about themselves. And then, I found out I was in the same boat. What a strange realization! So, in the seminar, you're taught that, for one thing, we ALL have these types of negative core beliefs, which was the first thing I learned, and then they teach you to create a new belief and help you make goals that "prove" the new positive belief. You literally CHANGE how you think about yourself. (I can. I deserve to be loved. I am one smart cookie. I belong HERE. etc) You end up taking a sledge hammer to the cement boot, if you will, that you've been wearing around getting nowhere in.

So, I learned to think in positive beliefs, (I am. I can. etc) and this brings me to another thing I've been thinking a lot about lately: Charity.

We read in the scriptures: (Moroni 7:45-48) "...If ye have not charity, ye are nothing..." And then you read what Charity is: "And ^acharity suffereth long, and is ^bkind, and ^cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily ^dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things...But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth ^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him."

And I think, "Well, that's a huge list of stuff that I'm failing at." And I get all bogged down by the thought of having charity, and so I don't try as hard. But then, about a month ago I had an experience.

I was at a Young Single Adult Fireside where the Bishop of my single's ward gave a short lesson on charity. The girl who had planned the whole activity happened to be named Charity, and bishop just happened to have her read in Moroni 7:45. And as Charity read, I was thinking how weird it must be to read those verses with her own name within the scripture, so I tried it out. I changed "charity" to "Rachel". And, it may not make much sense in a scriptural way, but to me, with my newly found positive beliefs attitude, it spoke to me. The scriptures were telling me that I am the pure love of Christ, that I am kind, that I am not easily provoked, that I am not puffed up. And for the first time, charity seemed attainable to me.

Substituting my name created the new belief in my mind. I immediately thought of charity as the Light of Christ, which we all have, which we all came to earth hardwired to recognize, which I already believe I possess, even if it is just a small amount. This made charity attainable. And then I went back to Moroni. Charity is the pure love of Christ, and we're supposed to possess the pure love of Christ, but it never says that we're supposed to have the pure love of Christ for others, just HAVE the pure love of Christ. We can't have that kind of love for others without having that kind of love for ourselves and I remembered that Christ has immense, vast, huge, extensive, unfathomable, expansive amount of love for us, for me. And add that to one of my new-found core beliefs, I deserve that love. I deserve every fantastic thing that Heavenly Father has in store me, especially love. And if I deserve it, and I do, then what makes anyone else in the whole wide world any less deserving of the love that He has for His children? And because, as his children, we are here on Earth to help one another, to love one another, to provide charity to one another, I know that it was necessary for me to realize this whole chain of thoughts. I'm begining to see that because Heavenly Father loves one child, He loves them all, and so should we. And, I just wanted to share that. We are here with great capacities to feel, give and show love. And just because we ARE, we deserve those love blessings. Not only to be loved but to love is a blessing as well.

Charity can be broken down into small goals and over time can have super huge effect. We shouldn't be wondering how to have charity all at once, because then we'll probably never get there. But there are things that we can do daily that prove we have charity within us. Find them, do them, and move forward. It's there, we just have to figure out how to bring it out of ourselves.

“Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.”

You want to know what's strange? It's September 07, 2010, and I really DID forget had a blog. And does it matter? No, I guess not, but how does that happen? I decide one night that I'd try the "blog thing" and 2 years later Google tells me I have one and I think, "why is that picture of me on the internet?" Then, I read the one and only post I wrote and think of all that's happened in the last 2 years. And the funny thing is, not much has changed for me, if you look at my job, my money, my direction in life. But does that matter either? No, because in the last 2 years I have had experiences and have done "life experiments" and have become a completely different person, a better person. And that, oh internet abyss, is quite an accomplishment. I wonder where I'll be in 2 MORE years.