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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Change Your Prayers.

So, I've been on this reading kick... I've been reading up a STORM since I started nannying again. (The baby sleeps 5 hours a day, so what else am I supposed to do?)  :) Well, I was reading some books about love and how it applies to the Law of Attraction, which is actually kind of irrelevant except that because I was reading those books I was led to read a book called Drawing on the Powers of Heaven by Grant von Harrison.

I think I missed the point of the book, because this concept hit me so hard, so I'm actually planning on reading it again, but as I was reading a thought came to me about prayers and the agency of others. We know that we have no power over other people and can't control them because of agency. (And, this can be frustrating when the people we love are making stupid choices, but what can we do?) Oftentimes, I find myself praying these people will make different choices, which IS (of course) an act of faith BUT Heavenly Father can't make anyone do anything either 'cause He's bound by the same laws we are, so what good is it to pray THAT people will make certain choices if Heavenly Father CAN'T make them make those choices? Then, a couple other books I've read talk about how love creates miracles and how we can use love to get the things we desire, to change our relationships, to eliminate negativity in our lives, to help others live better lives as well, and to change any personal circumstance really. (I've tried this out a couple times in the last couple months, and am kind of astounded at the results. VERY cool. I totally believe it.) SO, since we are only in charge of ourselves and the choices WE make, I was thinking that maybe we could all think about how our prayers go, and think about how to change them so that we're praying for US and not "THEM".

Historically I have been praying like, "and bless {whomever} that SHE'LL..." or something. I have been focusing on the things I think THEY (the people I pray for) need to be doing instead of the things I could be doing to help them. So, I changed my prayers. Now it's more like, "And help ME to know how to love {because love creates the miracle} in ways that will help {whomever} feel the Spirit and draw closer to Thee." or "Bless that I can receive the promptings that will help ME help {whomever} make better choices in their life."

This does 2 things: 1. It takes the focus off the people we're hoping will change and creates a "sense of doing" in ourselves. When we pray for something and don't do anything to help realize the blessing, then it's not Heavenly Father helping us develop faith, it's just Heavenly Father doing it for us, which isn't going to happen. We have to be doing SOMETHING for the blessing to be realized. (see D&C 130:20-21) "Faith without works is dead" kind of thing. And, according to the Powers of Heaven book, just asking isn't real faith. Part, yes, but not the full thing. And 2. It opens each of US up to the gifts of the Spirit. I really think that praying for ME instead of THEM will bring promptings and ideas that will help me bless said others, yes, but as I act on promptings, I get better at listening and hearing the Spirit and I get to have more promptings and guidance in other areas in my life. As we practice anything, we get better at it, so why not practice receiving the Spirit and practice acting on the promptings and practice praying for the opportunities to do so? I don't see a downside, if we're practicing in faith.

An example of what I'm talking about (just in case I'm not making any sense, and/or you need evidence) is the sons of Mosiah in Alma 17. They were responsible for the conversion of a ton of Lamanites even though, as it says in verse 14, they are describes as a "wild and a hardened and a ferocious people." Here's what verse 9 says, "And it came to pass that they journeyed many days in the wilderness, and they fasted much and prayed much that the Lord would grant unto them a portion of his Spirit to go with them, and abide with them, that they might be an instrument in the hands of God to bring, if it were possible, their brethren, the Lamanites, to the knowledge of the truth, to the knowledge of the baseness of the traditions of their fathers, which were not correct."  Notice that they prayed for THEMSELVES that God would give them the Spirit so that they could help the Lamanites learn that they were making stupid choices (which, in their defense, they probably didn't know, in a sense, were stupid choices 'cause they were just following the "traditions of their fathers", but i digress...)   :)

And if that's not enough evidence, just read The Lord's Prayer (Luke 11, Matt 6, and 3 Nephi 13). Christ himself, a perfect being, prays for himself as he prays for the other people present.

I've tried it on a couple "little" things. One example: I am a nanny. One of the children I tend is a very adult-like 4 and a half year old diva-fashionista. (seriously, she gives me fashion tips.) :) I haven't been nannying with this family very long, so sometimes it feels like my little 4 year old and I are just not friends. I want her to enjoy being with me, because, let's face it, she's with me a lot, and it should be fun. Occasionally, I end up with a melt-down on my hands. (Not as in a temper tantrum, just sad that her mom's not there at the moment, or just super tired, but I can't let her sleep or something) Sometimes, I have exhausted all my good ideas and have suggested all the things I know she likes to try and make hanging out with Rachel fun. If that doesn't work, and she's still upset, I say a quick little prayer that goes something like this, "Heavenly Father, I want to help Casey be happy so that she has a positive experience with me since she sees me more than she sees her parents. Help me to know how to love her right now so that I can find something fun to distract her." Once, the thought came to me to ask her if she wanted to sit in my lap. That was a weird one for Casey, but I didn't have anything else, so I tried it, and it took! We even ended up reading books while she sat on my lap. Casey's not really a book kind of girl either, so that was a little strange as well. Then the next melt-down I started with the lap book idea, and it was a no go, and tried everything I could think of, and said my little prayer and the thought came to me, "When's the last time she's eaten?" and I offered her a snack, which fixed the problem. This concept has made a big difference for Casey and me. I know it works, y'all.

So a quick recap: Change our prayers, receive the inspiration, follow the promptings, change your life.

I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear about your experiences with this, should you choose to accept the challenge. Leave a comment or e-mail me your stories.

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